Solomon Says... be thankful

Dear Solomon,
I just moved to Munich, "where everyone speaks English", except they don't. My husband is pretty fluent but he works all day. Getting groceries is nearly impossible. I can't ask where things are or what they are and the labels are all in German, and rightly so! This is Germany! I only know how much to pay if I can see the red numbers on the cash register. There's no one bagging my groceries and I'm always holding up the line and getting glared at. Also, I bring our 3 small kids with me to the store and people generally stare at me for that. I just feel like I don't belong here and like I do almost everything wrong. I really want to be happy here. But I'm not. And you know what happens when mama ain't happy. Please help!
Sincerely,
Tearful Mom

Dear Tearful Mom,
I'm glad you wrote to me instead of just deciding it's hopeless. I'm sorry you feel like an outcast and I don't want you to feel that way. I want you to feel loved and accepted because you are in Christ! It sounds like you've forgotten that so I thought I'd remind you.
Now, in regards to your current situation, an exercise in thankfulness will certainly take away your language barrier blues. A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Think about what you're thankful for regarding being in Germany with your family. Be specific. Write things down if you want to encourage yourself to have a good attitude. Since your focus was on the mundane task of grocery shopping, list some things that you're thankful for regarding the mundane, regarding the daily grind. Then tell your kids what you're thankful for. When mama's giving thanks, everybody gives thanks! Especially if mama's thanks is enthusiastic and accompanied by tickles and/or silly voices and/or crazy dancing. (My dad, David, knew some pretty crazy dances!)
Sincerely
Solomon, the wise king

Moving to a Foreign Country: An Expat's Guide to Moving Stuff

The Cronin family found out in May that they would be moving just three months later to Germany from the US.  "I felt pretty overwhelmed at first," said Karen, "and I really had no idea about how to move out of a house into a storage unit plus a home in a foreign country.  The company gave us a few options in terms of shipping our things and we chose to ship very few things and purchase furniture in Germany."  She had no idea how few items would be packed to be airmailed to Germany.  A week and a half before their big move, the packers came with a rather small box and began loading up the items Shamus and Karen had set aside as highest priority for Germany.  They barely made it through that small stack and into the second one before the box was completely full.  "I definitely could have squeezed a lot more into that box," said Karen, "but I don't know all the rules about getting boxes through customs and such.  Maybe they have to use a certain size box and you aren't allowed to squeeze in shoeboxes full of important things like Christmas ornaments and Legos."

They continued working to empty their home, which they plan to rent out while they are gone and then move back in when they return.  They worked until the night before the big flight over to Germany.  Karen highly recommends being out of your house at least 1 week before you move. Below is the rest of her advice for moving; particularly for moving overseas temporarily.

1. Believe this statement, assuming it is actually true: "Whatever I don't bring can be replaced."  And believe these truths: "Life is better with less stuff."  "In life, it's better to bring not enough than too much, except when it comes to food and children's craft supplies."  "I can live comfortably without most of my belongings."

2. Choose the airfreight option with a small box unless you really love your furniture and don't want to have to live without it for a few years.  When you arrive, you'll go to temporary housing, which is a hotel, which is not home!  If you've got a small box coming, you can go ahead and start making your actual house into a home.  If you've got a sea crate, you'll have to wait several weeks for that to arrive before you can even start working toward having a Home.

3. (Something I wish I'd done:) Before you move, go through each room and choose the things that are irreplaceable.  There shouldn't be too many.  Put these either in the pile to pack or the storage unit pile.

4. Go through your house with your smartphone and take photos of every item you're selling.

Do this as soon as possible so that you can have your items on the market for maximum time.  Don't write "OBO" but if someone makes an offer, take it.  Otherwise, you're just giving the item to charity, which isn't so bad except that you could really use a little money for this big move!

5. (Something I didn't do but wish I had:) Advertise to some people that you know that they can "shop your house".  Just have them walk through and say what they'd like and make an offer.  If you can find a friend who is moving into town or who has college kids, you may get most of your things sold in one hit!  And take the offer.  Every time!

6. Simplify your wardrobe.  And everyone else's.  

Here's a great guide to get you started:

http://richlyrooted.com/2013/09/simplify-your-wardrobe.html

I started doing this back in December, thankfully, so most of us were down to what I call the Bare Minimum Plus Plan.  ONLY seven of each: short sleeved shirts, long sleeved shirts, shorts, pants, summer PJs, winter PJs.  If you don't wear a pull-up to bed, you're only allowed 2 summer PJs and 2 winter jammies.  10 pairs of underwear.  15 pairs of socks.  Unless you're a grown up.  Then you only need 10, including boot socks.  1 coat.  1 jacket.  1 hoodie sweatshirt.  1 pair of sneakers, 1 pair of flip flops, 1 pair of crocs/slip ons, 1 pair of boots.  If you're female, you can have more like 10 pairs of shoes.  1 hat.  In addition to this "Bare Minimum", you're allowed the Plus: one pair of dress pants, one long sleeved dress shirt and one short sleeved, one pair of dress shoes, and 2 additional shirts of any kind.  Put all of this into 1-2 vacuum seal bags. Now you can wash all the clothes once a week and there can be no laundry mountain!  Even if all of the clothes are dirty at the same time, you have but a foothill.  

(I wish I had done this:) Count the number of days you have left until you move.  Pull out clothes for each day from your Giveaway stack.  Pull out clothes to wear on the airplane from your Keep-It stack.  Label your airplane clothes and put them in a separate bag with everyone else's labeled airplane clothes.  Give away or sell all of the clothes that are left in the Giveaway stack.  Give away or throw away the clothes you wore those last few days.

*The most helpful thing I did while sorting through my clothes was to invite another person whose style I liked and who knew my style into the process.  This person must be a "get rid of it if you don't need it" person, definitely NOT a "keep it just in case you want it later" person.  I had pared down my regular wardrobe but I was in my first trimester of pregnancy when we were packing.  Those maternity clothes hadn't been touched and I had quite the collection.  I got rid of more than half of my clothes with a friend's honest help.

7. Pack almost all of your fabric items into vacuum seal bags.


It's worth the cost.  Especially if you're getting a storage unit that is not climate-controlled.  Label your vacuum seal bags with different colors of Duck Tape so that it's obvious who it belongs to and whether it goes in a suitcase or into a storage unit.  Leave out a few small fabric items (scarves, a few hand towels, warm winter socks, etc.) that you definitely want to bring with you.  Put those into the Favorite Things pile.

8. (Another thing I wish I'd done:) Now that you've figured out what big things you're storing (that would be everything that you didn't take a photo of and post on a virtual yard sale), it's time to tackle the little things.  Go through the house, room by room, and pick out your favorite things.  As you choose them, either put them in a box to bring with you or one to store.  You have a limited space for things to go so even a few of your favorite things will have to be put into storage.  Remember as you're choosing that less is better and you can buy most things in most countries.

9. Tape off the dimensions of your air freight box somewhere in your house.  Just use some painters tape or masking tape.  Start putting your favorite things into boxes and put those boxes inside the taped area.  Once the taped off area is full, it's time to start packing your suitcases.  

10. Pack your vacuum seal bags into suitcases.  You and your family will need to be dressed, no matter which country you're moving to!  Try to keep like things together if possible.  Put a week's worth of clothes into your carry on so that you can be dressed during the first week in your new country.  Definitely check the weather before you pack!  Now that all of your clothes are packed, go over to your Favorite Things pile and start putting things into the suitcase until it's nice and full.  If your Favorite Thing is a breakable thing, grab some fabric item that you stuck in the Favorite Things pile and wrap it up.  Assume that your suitcase will end up on the bottom of a pile of 20 suitcases and that each suitcase will be thrown by an unfriendly giant onto yours.  That's actually what happens, by the way. Now that you know this interesting fact, you'll also choose to carry on as many breakable things as possible.  I've never seen a giant throwing things in the security check.  And if TSA decides to sort through all of you favorite Christmas ornaments in your backpack, you can stand there and carefully pack them back into your bag.

11. You're now facing the end.  It may not feel like it because your cabinets and drawers and closets are all full of things.  But, it turns out, those aren't your favorite things and you probably don't really care what happens to them anyway.  Now invite that "You don't need it, get rid of it"-friend over along with a few other helpful people.  Before they arrive, put a sticky note by the door to each room with a clear list of instructions.  Sure, you have to make decisions about which kitchen items to store and which ones to let go of, but someone else can sweep out the garage and wash the inside of your fridge!  All helpers should be rewarded with many thanks, food during working hours (pizza or other take out with paper goods), any items they want that you no longer want, and any food that you won't be eating before you board the plane.  Your super-helpful friend should be by your side like a little angel on your shoulder saying "Just give it away.  You don't need to store that.  You can buy a new one for less than $5 when you get back, but only if you need it."  There should be NO devil on the other shoulder saying "But... what if I want it?  What if I do need it?"  That's already a problem in your head.  If another friend is saying these types of things, just politely ask that person to work on the list in another room.  If you're having trouble finding help, just advertise to some people you're comfortable with, such as your church: "Need help packing.  Paying minimum wage.  $2 bonus per hour if your packing is neat and orderly.  $1 bonus per hour if you're quick as well.  $20 bonus at the end of the day if everything is packed!"  This $20 bonus will bring in the extra helpers.  You'll find that some people will say, "$15 is fine.  I'm taking this big box of toiletries you gave me, too!"  Little do they know how much it helps you that they are taking the toiletries!
Don't worry about labeling your boxes.  Simply make a code using Duck Tape so that you know where the stuff came from.  We happen to have a colorful home, so we know that anything with a bit of green Duck Tape on each side of the box is from the kitchen.  Orange is from the office.  Those are also the paint colors in those rooms.  Choose some fun Duck Tape for each person in the family and label your boxes by ripping off a bit and sticking it to each side of the box.  No need to write on it.  Your angel-friend helped you to get rid of so many things that you have very few boxes and you'll know what's in them as soon as you open them!

12. Hire someone to clean your empty house after you've left.  If you don't have a cleaning lady, just ask for a recommendation.  You now have permission to cry because your lovely home is empty and dirty and if no one is moving in before you leave, you have no chance of making sure there's toilet paper and hand soap in all the bathrooms and a vase (that you don't want) of flowers on the kitchen counter when they arrive.  All of your things are ready to move.  You probably aren't.  Not only that, but you have to wear crummy old clothes until you get on the airplane in a week.  And so does everyone else in your family and all the pictures will be terrible.  Keep crying, it's okay.  Say goodbye to your home and move into your temporary housing (such as your in-law's or best friend's if possible).  

13.  Stop crying.  Get excited about your new adventure.  Get ready to travel the world from your new country!  Live out of your crummy clothes pile and your toiletry bag.  Use your friend's or your mother-in-law's shampoo and dishes and things.  That's why they've allowed you to come and stay - so that you can still feel at home those last few days.  

*If you'd like some free boxes, try contacting a bookstore or a grocery store like Publix or Wegmans, which are both known for their customer service.  You're going to want medium-sized boxes that are all the same.  This makes packing much easier. Alternatively, you can ask on social media for some uniform moving boxes and check Craig's list.  If you're a regular customer at a store and the people recognize you, you're much more likely to get them to save some boxes for you.  Be very specific: I'm looking for medium-sized boxes that close all the way without holes in them.  I'd like a lot of the same size box.  I only want boxes that had dry goods in them.  Do you have any regular shipments that come in medium boxes?  What time should I arrive at your store to pick up the boxes so that they don't get crushed?  When we move back to the states, I'm going to contact Hobby Lobby, a Christian-owned business, and ask them about providing moving boxes from their stash for the people in the community as a way to show the love of Jesus.  

Cronin Parents' Search for Home Part IV: Exploring Feldkirchen

Shamus and Karen drove through town searching for playgrounds, a bakery, a meat market, and flower fields.  In Munich and the surrounding areas, there are many fields of flowers with small locked boxes on posts for paying for cut flowers.  There is never anyone working at the money collection box; you simply pay for what you pick.  "One of my favorite things I've learned and experienced about the German people is that they follow rules.  All of the rules make sense, and so it makes sense to follow them.  Back in the States it would be almost impossible to stay in business if you just had a box with prices posted nearby.  There are some people who would pay, and I'm sure that there are lots of people who would just come and take the flowers without paying.  There are German thieves out there somewhere but it's just not part of the culture like it is in the States," said Karen.

They found everything they were searching for and more; they found an ice cream shop, a few grocery stores, and a kindergarten for their children.  "We applied at the German kindergarten but they didn't have enough teachers hired for the fall yet.  We're on a waiting list and our boys will hopefully start in October," said Shamus.  "It's pretty sweet.  There's a slide from the second floor that you ride down to get to the playground outside.  And there are a bunch of tiny sinks and toilets and everyone's toothbrushes are lined up hanging on the wall in the bathroom.  I don't think kids brush their teeth at school in America.  I didn't!"

When asked how they felt about their new hometown, Karen said "I think it's adorable.  It will be a lot of fun living a city life: going to the bakery and the butcher shop a few times a week, walking everywhere, and taking the S-Bahn instead of driving.  At the same time, this village feels like a small town out in the country, with tractors driving on the roads and big fields of corn.  Our landlords are wonderful, too!  They have already offered to let us borrow the bassinet that the landlord made when he and his wife had children 30 years ago!  They have been very kind and welcoming in a surprising way."

The Cronins will move to Feldkirchen in one month.

Cronin Parents' Search for Home: Part III - The Houses

On Day 1, Shamus and Karen found one potential home.  They named it the Pool-Balconies-Order'sUpKitchen House

There is a covered pool 1.5 meters deep to the left of the house behind the garage.  You can see in the above photo the many balconies, perfect for enjoying some fresh air.

Below, you can see the Order's Up window.  This view is from inside the kitchen looking into the dining area.  The door to the right closes off the kitchen.  The door you can see through the Order's Up window is the front door.

The only downside to the house was that there was only 1 full bath and a guest bathroom downstairs.

Day 2 was much busier.  They visited homes on every side of Munich, and not in order.  First to the west, then to the east, then to the north, down to the south and back to the east.
The first house was instantly eliminated because of the fridge.  Yes, the entire fridge was in one small cabinet.

The next house was another potential home: The Extra-Large Slightly Remote Home

This one had 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.  "I don't know that I want to have to manage that much house!" said Karen.  "More than one full bath brings this to the top of the list for me!" said Shamus.  Living in this home would require both Karen and Shamus to have cars, which wasn't the ideal plan.

The next house, named Karen's Favorite, seemed too good to be within the price range.


The back half of this duplex with the green garage is the home.  The front half is inhabited by a midwife and her husband.



Above you can see a complete kitchen, which was a big bonus!  Some of the houses have empty rooms with kitchen appliance outlets, requiring the renter to purchase cabinets, a refrigerator, stove and oven, cabinets, and drawers.  This home was recently updated with a new kitchen and new floors.  You can also see how bright the kitchen is!  Very uncharacteristically, this kitchen has no door, another bonus for Shamus and Karen.

"The garden is full of familiar plants, as well as a compost bin and a space for growing vegetables!  This feels like home." said Karen.



Another little bonus is what Karen is calling The Pointy Hobbit Door.  Located on the top floor, you can see the slant of the roof guides the shape of this door, which leads to a full bath.  There also happens to be a Pointy Hobbit Window on the opposite wall.


With 5 bedrooms and 2 full baths and a guest bathroom, this home was a perfect fit.  Not only was the building wonderful, but the location is also ideal. "The library is 2 blocks away, as well as the meat market, the pharmacy and a bakery.  There is an S-Bahn stop 1 block in the opposite direction." said Karen.  There are several kindergartens in Feldkirchen as well as 4 playgrounds.

At the end of the day, they asked their relocation agent to call the owner to apply for Karen's Favorite house.  In Germany, you must be approved by the owner, and in some cases, chosen over other applicants.  That night, Shamus and Karen prayed for contentment no matter what the answer was and that they would be chosen as the renters of this sweet house.  After receiving the financial information, the owners chose the Cronins!  "What a fun answer to our prayers!" said Karen.  Now that they had found the house, it was time to discover their new little town of Feldkirchen.

Cronin Parents' Search for Home: Part II - Enjoying the Culture

After a rather enjoyable flight from Atlanta to Munich, Shamus and Karen began their mission of finding Home.

First things first: Bavarian food!  Karen enjoyed a lieberkäse sandwich.  Lecker!

This was followed by a surprise, spectacular find:

Enter the train...

See a lego elephant...

And go inside a play!!!

As far as they could tell, this indoor playground is frei.  And around the corner, there was some dodgeball and an area to ride big wheels.

Then, Shamus spotted this and said, "Aww, look.  All the München beers in one picture."

Karen saw this sign, clearly communicating that "All superheroes should run this way to escape the evil canoes!"  What an exciting place!

That afternoon, they were able to attend Munich International Church, an evangelical church exegeting Romans.  Another very exciting find!

So far, the search was going well.  On to finding a Haus!

Cronin Parents' Search for Home: Part I - Flight

Shamus and Karen Cronin, parents to 3 sons and one more baby in utero, traveled to Munich in search of Home.  Shamus has been transferred to Germany for 3 years for his job.  "I'm really excited about the move!  It will be great to finally learn German and I can't wait until our children are more fluent than Shamus already is!" says Karen, stay at home mom and former Spanish teacher.  One of her goals for many years now has been to learn to speak German.  She has also always aspired to be a family that travels the world and this is quite the start.  "Munich is an hour and a half from Salzburg, Austria.  It's 3 hours into Italy and only 5 and a half to Venice.  It's also 3 hours to Zurich, Switzerland.  In 6 and a half hours, you're in Paris.  And that's if you drive or take a bus or train!  Many of the flights are less than an hour," says Google maps.

Shamus, who has traveled to Munich many times for his job, instructed Karen on how to fly international business class, a new endeavor for her:

1. Socks (provided by the airline) on.


2. Blanket on.


3. Napkin tucked at mealtime.


4. Enjoy a movie, or 2.


5. Lay down and sleep.

The seats in Business Class on this Delta Boeing 767 fully recline.  "It's probably worth it for some people to pay for Business Class in order to get the horizontal reclining position.  Others, like my husband, can sleep in almost any position."  says Karen, who thought her seat was very cozy.

The two of them flew to Munich for the Look and See trip.  Next, we'll see what they saw.